By: Surjit Singh Flora
The race for more money, aspirations to become great, dreams of big houses and luxury cars make foreign countries attractive to individuals trying to “catch a break.” Another major reason people come to the foreign countries is with the dream of making their child a successful and literate human being. However, children here are brought up by playing in North American brotherhood, where the butchery of Indian culture is very apparent and common.
So who is to blame for such a tragedy? If one is to ask the parents, they would blame the children and the current societal system that exists in Canada. However, if we ask the children, they will, quite simply, point a finger at the parents. So, who is the real culprit? Actually, as I will explain, the answer lies somewhere in between.
Firstly, in North America, parents feel that they are helpless when trying to teach their children because of the fear of police. The problem in this country is that we emphasize rights more than responsibilities. Children are taught at a very young age that if someone bothers them, that they should call the police. Let’s be clear, I am not downplaying the importance of teaching children about different avenues they may have at their disposal to attain assistance. Thus, it is quite important for children to know that they are able to call the police or other government services when they are in need. However, it is equally important to teach the children as to when they should be using such services. These services exist to protect society from danger - - not to interfere with their parents’ right to bring up their child the way they see appropriate (within reasonable limits, of course). When children are taught that they have this right, or that right, they begin to foster a mentality, that these “rights” can be used and abused at their discretion, without any conscience of the “responsibilities” that are attached to these rights. Equal importance needs to be given to teach children about how to be responsible when exercising their rights. Before a child picks up a phone, or goes to a teacher, they should be taught how to think twice and ensure they know the consequences of what they are about to do.
That is just half of the story, the other side of the problem is where parents play a role. Here children are not only spoiled but many never realize the importance of respecting their elders. The race for money, bigger homes, faster cars, higher positions comes at a high cost. When these things begin to consume one’s life, everything else is forgotten. In doing so, many families leave their children with their grandparents at home. Children are not able to build the essential bond that they require in order for them to truly understand the value of love and family. As children grow, their bond between their parents decrease, and the time they spend with their friends’ increases. Thus, they are more likely to share their feelings with their friends, than their own parents. Slowly friends begin to feel like family, and family begins to take the status of distant friends – once close, but now forgotten. These trends can slowly lead children into many different directions. Depending on the crowd a child begins to associate themselves with, they begin to pick up new habits – some of which can include drugs and violence. These habits then become a way of life, and parents remain oblivious as to what is happening, until it is too late.
Let’s not also forget, many immigrant families have no choice but to work hard and long in order to have enough income to provide for their families. That is ok. However, there is a difference between providing for your family, and spoiling your family. For instance, it helps to think of your child as a flower. When you buy a flower and you place it in the sun, but do not give it any water – do you think it will grow? How about if you give it water but no sun? How about if you give it water and sun but don’t put it in the soil? The point is, to give the flower the best opportunity to flourish, you need to plant it, water it, and make sure it receives sufficient amount of sunlight. Similarly, a child not only requires money, but also love, guidance, and respect. A child will not fully flourish until it receives all of these essential requirements. Only then will not only our culture will survive, but our children will grow up with the appropriate values, and teachings that our parents gave us. Only then can we truly say “we have made it!”
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