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Proro-gate (A satirical version of a scandal)

In a fictitious televised address to his people, the great leader announces his resignation to the nation from the bunker under siege.

by Michael Werbowski Media Analysis, →Dominion Stories

Also posted by michael werbowski:

Also in Arts:

My Fellow Underlings.

After recalibrating, reflecting, reassessing, and resetting the recent parliamentary calendar, I have in view of my reprehensible actions , my flagrant and blatant disregard for parliament , for betraying your sacred yet misplaced trust in me, decided to step down as your great leader, effective immediately. Henceforth, my chief deputy, the Minister of Total War, will assume my position and all authority until parliament is reconvened and democratic government is restored to my people again .

I have shamefully abused my authority as your great leader, by debasing democracy and defiling the sovereignty and sanctity of the parliamentary process, in order to accrue unchecked personal power. I also tarnished...perhaps to an irreparable degree, the reputation of this great land, by pouring scorn on the Copenhagen accords. I have turned our once esteemed peace-keepers into high-tech warriors and sent them into battle as senseless cannon-fodder to fight in a futile post –colonial expedition. I have tacitly supported Latin American dictorarships (Honduras) and shamelessly courted authoritarian regimes in Asia (China) in the name of corporate gain, while casting aspersions on what I call “unfriendly dictatorships” such as Russia and Venezuela. Their leaders were once my mentors. Despite our ideological differences, I nevertheless admire such men , for their effective ways in ruling over the wayward and thankless multitudes.

Like a quisling, I have sold out this land to foreign interests and handed over our entire natural wealth to outside ownership for a mere pittance . I have evaded inquiry and deliberately obfuscated the facts, regarding my knowledge and role in the hand-over of prisoners of war; who according to the testimony, of our finest diplomatic envoy over there, were submitted and subjected to torture. This is seemingly a glaring violation of the Geneva Convention.... ( pause of hesitation, punctuated by inner -fear).. a treaty, which we are bound by and must adhere to as a not- so- civilised anymore nation . Opinion on this issue and if this moral oversight on my part, constitutes a war crime or not, is to be deferred to the international court and tribunal which will judge me accordingly, on this grave matter.

Although my actions may seem to be treasonous and anti-constitutional to you all, and might be judged harshly by the piercing gaze of history, please remain confident that I remain your humble servant and a proud and patriotic citizen of our glorious land. These are my final parting words. I bid you all farewell or as they say in the Teutonic tongue which I am so fond of and have mastered during my reign, “Aufwiedersehen!” or until we meet again.

Your Former Great Ruler.

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